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A reality-based cautionary tale for entertainment shoppers

Not to toot my own horn, but I think facts about my business speak for themselves: over 25 years experience in the live and recorded music business; tons of the best performance gear the industry has to offer; a confident and experienced stage personality; two separate office locations; and unlimited means of communication�three separate telephone lines with an answering service operating 24/7/365, two fax lines, a website, e-mail and, yes, even a door bell. Oh, and I forgot to mention my three (count them, three) complete sets of back-up gear in the truck at every gig (never used, by the way). I guess it�s just a fixation, or maybe a fear of one day possibly not being able to complete a show at a wedding. (They usually only do them once, you know!)

Fuzzy Math?
Yes, with all the gear and qualifications listed above you would think I�d be one of the more expensive disc jockeys around. Yet, at an average of $1,000 to $1,200 for a great five-hour wedding with unlimited planning and preparation (and fully insured), I submit that I am actually a bargain, compared to the more expensive DJs in the area, who are priced at around $500 to $600 for the same amount of playing time.

�Wait a second,� I hear you saying, �don�t you know how to add and subtract?� Bear with me for moment�I think you�ll see that my numbers add up.

OK. Imagine you are a bride or groom planning the biggest event in your life, up to this point at least. Are you with me? You start out talking about it every minute for days on end. You are really excited. You go out and look for a banquet hall; after checking out several, you finally book one. Next, you select an exciting, delicious menu with some really fabulous appetizers. You shop, shop and shop some more, hiring your film crew, choosing a gown, bridesmaids� dresses, tuxedos, invitations, etc. In other words, you go the whole nine yards and beyond.

What a Bargain
Then you start shopping for your entertainment. You have already spent a bundle on everything else; it may be time to start cutting back on the bucks. So you come and visit with me and/or some other well-qualified DJs in the area and�wow! You didn�t realize it would cost so much. After all, the DJ just pushes some buttons and plays some CDs, the same thing you have been doing at home for years, right? For this you need to pay $1,000?

Then you remember that this guy down the block has lots of CDs and when you have been to his house, his music always sounded really good. You ask him if he could DJ your wedding and he is happy to and he will only charge you $500. Great! What a deal!

Later, after several futile attempts to get him to call you back to go over some details, he calls you back the day before your wedding and apologizes, saying something about his aunt being ill in Alaska. And, by the way, he can�t make your wedding. But, there is good news. He�s going to send his son to cover for him. They�ll divvy up his music and split the equipment. The day is saved.

Multiplying the Savings
It�s wedding day and Son of Cheap DJ is only fifteen minutes late�at least he got there before you had a heart attack. Also, keep in mind you are saving big bucks. No harm done: he�s late, but in the grand scheme of things, what�s 15 minutes?

He carries his gear in through the front door of the hall, noisily pushing past your well-dressed guests who are trying to enjoy ****tails and conversation. After a few trips back and forth, he is set and ready to roll�only 45 minutes later than planned. �IT�S ONLY ROCK AND ROLL, BUT I LIKE IT�� suddenly erupts from the speakers and a few glasses are spilled. Well, he likes the Stones and thought your guests would like to keep the ****tail hour up beat. Remember, like his dad, he too knows his music.

After an uninspired reading of the bridal party introduction sheet and the butchering of several of your closest friends� names, it�s time for your very first dance as husband and wife. Oh no: for a moment it seems that he doesn�t have your wedding song, but he has it covered. Yes, he did leave the original copy with his dad, but he has an extra karaoke copy and he knows all the words to �At Last.� Whew! The day is saved again.

Counting the Cost
I think by now you get the picture. Needless to say, it wasn�t a great event, although I�m sure it was interesting and gave your guests a whole lot to talk about. Sorry that all of the guests other than immediate family had to leave an hour or more before the party was to end. �The baby sitter is having a rough time with the kids�� etc.

Too bad your $20,000, once-in-a-lifetime event fizzled instead of sizzled. But hey, the place was really nice and the food was great, and after all is said and done, you should be happy: you saved $500 on the entertainment. So why does it seem like you paid a much higher price for the cheapest DJ?

Tom Catucci is the owner of Dancin� Machine Entertainment in New Jersey